Hi Grace
Hope you're well.
It's amazing how fast time goes by and to think we're in October already is frightening.
I was thinking today about the passing of time and how t changes us, our perspectives and values, our priorities and our feelings about things. Everything is changing all the time and without our help. Things just flow in a natural way and it's our job to let go of fear and enjoy the ride, as scary that can be sometimes.
I am working in a camera shop at the moment and this morning I was helping a young lady choose a photography bag that she was going to be taking on a 12 month round the world trip.
Her father was with her, helping her choose but his main role in this little event was to pay for it.
As she made her choice and I was processing the purchase I asked her about her trip etc as I was interested to know where she was going and what kind of Photography she was in to. Her father then revealed that they were going to see her M.A show later that day and he joked that he thought it was just a lot of taking about Photography instead of just taking the picture but really I cold tell that he was immensley proud of his beautiful, intelligent young daughter and probably a felt a whole mixture of feelings that his daughter was off around the world
It bought up feelings for me of sadness that I am not able to spend time with you at the moment but also great hope and wonder at what you'll want to be doing when you're a young woman going out and exploring the world. I hope I can be as involved in your life as the guy I saw today was in his daughters life and I know that whatever you decide to do or wherever you want to go I'll be there for you, supporting you and probably paying for it too! ;)
I saw Libby and Lewis recently as I looked after them whilst Lindsay and Owen, their mom and dad, had a weekend away. It was really nice to spend some time with them and I have noticed that they have both shot up in size over the last few months...Libby has just turned 8 and she's wearing a school uniform for age 11!?
Lewis is also growing up quick and seems a lot more mature in his behaviour lately too.
I hope you get to spend some time with them soon too as I know you and Libby get on well and she always asks about you.
So, I am going on some training soon which will involve me taking pictures of Owls, Foxes Otters! I am really looking forward to it and hope I get some good shots to show you.
Anyways, it's getting late so until next time, I will say good night and god bless.
I remember when I used to tuck you in at night and I would say 'Good night, sweet dreams, I love you.' and you would reply 'Don't love you!' and then we'd both laugh.
I wonder if you remember that?
Good night. Love you.xx
Thursday, 26 September 2013
Saturday, 7 September 2013
Folk festivities
Hello Grace.
I am hoping that you're ok.
I saw you recently at the Moseley Folk Festival. I didn't know you would be there although I had a feeling you would be. You were listening to two pirates telling stories and then later had your face painted after having a go on the carousel.
You went to your first Moseley folk festival when you were just a 9 months old. I have the pictures of you crawling around and enjoying the sun and mellow atmosphere, as far as I know you have been every year since. I wonder if you remember the earlier years you were there. How great it is that you experience live music from an early age. I wonder if you musical when you grow up.
I took some pictures of you as you can see. I found it hard seeing you as you didn't want to play or talk with me much. I got the feeling that you knew that you would have to leave me at the end of the day and so didn't want to allow yourself to connect with me as you would only end up disappointed as has happened so many times when we have had to leave each other.
I know that's how I felt.
I hope you had a good day, just after these pictures were taken, your mother and you walked off the site and so didn't see you after that, although I looked for you afterwards.
I hope one day you and I can go to a festival together and enjoy the music and atmosphere and spend as much time together as you want.
You will have done your first week back at school by the time by now. I remember that as a time as a mixture of excitement, fear and wonder. I would have my new uniform, books, pens and bag, ready for a new year full of good intentions and high expectations.
I enjoyed school up to the age of around 12 when I went to the big school. It was there that I realised that I had to become responsible for my life and future, which really terrified me and so i kicked against the 'system' of school and didn't really apply myself to anything really. I enjoyed English, Art, music and sports although I was a quite a heavy kid, I liked the release of physical exercise.
I hope you find out what you like and apply yourself to becoming great at it.
That's the secret of life, it's very simple really, listen to people who are older and wiser and consider what they are saying. Wisdom is hard earned through tough experiences so when people share their wisdom, the least you can do is sit with it and feel how it sits with you, you'll know if it's the truth by how it 'sits' with you.
My father had wisdom and was always wanting me to develop discipline, learn a skill, craft or trade and be really good at it, work hard and live with a good, light heart.
I heard his words but I wasn't ready to accept them or act them, instead I just thought that he was trying to kill my fun, he didn't know what it was like to be me so don't tell me what to do. It's a necessary part of growing up, finding your own identity and questioning authority. But really my dad only wanted to share the wisdom he had gained and loved me enough to say try and teach me some valuable lessons with tough love but I didn't respond.
However,I now see just how much he must have hurt when I didn't listen to him, such is life. I am glad I got to make peace with him before he died, I often speak to him in my thoughts and prayers and know now that he's proud of me, he is still in my heart and I consider my self to be very lucky to have had a father who passed on so many good qualities to me like perseverance, discipline and a good sense of humour! He also had his flaws as we all do and was largely absent during my up bringing, not necessarily physically but emotionally, he was an old school strong, silent type who wasn't really in touch with his emotions or inner self but particularly later in his life we did get closer and shared some nice memories even though he suffered terribly towards the end of his life.
Any ways, I am writing this in a stream of conciousness as you can probably tell, it's quite late now and I am tired from working today.
I am going to see Libby tomorrow as it's 8th birthday. I have bought her some lovely silver ear rings as she is having her ears pierced. I will wish her a happy birthday from you, she misses you and always asks after you. I hope you and her get to play together/see each other again in the future.
Have a lovely, peaceful sleep and your day is a happy and fun filled one.
I love you and miss you.
Daddy.xxxx
I am hoping that you're ok.
I saw you recently at the Moseley Folk Festival. I didn't know you would be there although I had a feeling you would be. You were listening to two pirates telling stories and then later had your face painted after having a go on the carousel.
You went to your first Moseley folk festival when you were just a 9 months old. I have the pictures of you crawling around and enjoying the sun and mellow atmosphere, as far as I know you have been every year since. I wonder if you remember the earlier years you were there. How great it is that you experience live music from an early age. I wonder if you musical when you grow up.
I took some pictures of you as you can see. I found it hard seeing you as you didn't want to play or talk with me much. I got the feeling that you knew that you would have to leave me at the end of the day and so didn't want to allow yourself to connect with me as you would only end up disappointed as has happened so many times when we have had to leave each other.
I know that's how I felt.
I hope you had a good day, just after these pictures were taken, your mother and you walked off the site and so didn't see you after that, although I looked for you afterwards.
I hope one day you and I can go to a festival together and enjoy the music and atmosphere and spend as much time together as you want.
You will have done your first week back at school by the time by now. I remember that as a time as a mixture of excitement, fear and wonder. I would have my new uniform, books, pens and bag, ready for a new year full of good intentions and high expectations.
I enjoyed school up to the age of around 12 when I went to the big school. It was there that I realised that I had to become responsible for my life and future, which really terrified me and so i kicked against the 'system' of school and didn't really apply myself to anything really. I enjoyed English, Art, music and sports although I was a quite a heavy kid, I liked the release of physical exercise.
I hope you find out what you like and apply yourself to becoming great at it.
That's the secret of life, it's very simple really, listen to people who are older and wiser and consider what they are saying. Wisdom is hard earned through tough experiences so when people share their wisdom, the least you can do is sit with it and feel how it sits with you, you'll know if it's the truth by how it 'sits' with you.
My father had wisdom and was always wanting me to develop discipline, learn a skill, craft or trade and be really good at it, work hard and live with a good, light heart.
I heard his words but I wasn't ready to accept them or act them, instead I just thought that he was trying to kill my fun, he didn't know what it was like to be me so don't tell me what to do. It's a necessary part of growing up, finding your own identity and questioning authority. But really my dad only wanted to share the wisdom he had gained and loved me enough to say try and teach me some valuable lessons with tough love but I didn't respond.
Any ways, I am writing this in a stream of conciousness as you can probably tell, it's quite late now and I am tired from working today.
I am going to see Libby tomorrow as it's 8th birthday. I have bought her some lovely silver ear rings as she is having her ears pierced. I will wish her a happy birthday from you, she misses you and always asks after you. I hope you and her get to play together/see each other again in the future.
Have a lovely, peaceful sleep and your day is a happy and fun filled one.
I love you and miss you.
Daddy.xxxx
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